コミュニケーションと役割確認

添削してThank you for your email.I have talked to Hiro san based on your email and we fully agree to make the communication most efficient and effective for all concerned members.We also agree to have online meetings when necessary. In fact, I understand that there will be a small group online meeting to discuss about the inquiry from NTT AT on Sep. 22 (US time) .We would like to discuss about the roles of the poeople when Dionis san will visit us at the beginning of October, We are a little confused about who are responsible for what.Best regards,Koji Kabumoto

より自然でビジネスライクな英語にすると、以下のようになります。 > Thank you for your email. > > I have spoken with Hiro regarding the points raised in your email, and we fully agree that our communications should be as efficient and effective as possible for all parties involved. > > We also agree to hold online meetings whenever necessary. In fact, I understand that a small group meeting has been scheduled for September 22 (U.S. time) to discuss NTT AT's inquiry. > > We would also like to discuss the roles and responsibilities of the various team members when Dionis visits us in early October, as we are currently a little unclear about who is responsible for what. > > Best regards, > > Koji Kabumoto ### 主な修正点 - **talked to Hiro san** → **spoken with Hiro**（ビジネス文書としてより自然） - **make the communication most efficient and effective** → **our communications should be as efficient and effective as possible**（自然な表現） - **of all concerned members** → **for all parties involved**（英語らしい言い回し） - **to discuss about** → **to discuss**（"discuss" の後に "about" は不要） - **inquiry from NTT AT** → **NTT AT's inquiry**（簡潔） - **roles of the people** → **roles and responsibilities of the various team members**（より明確） - **who are responsible for what** → **who is responsible for what**（文法修正） なお、少し柔らかく協調的なトーンにするなら最後を、 > "...as we would appreciate having a clearer understanding of each person's responsibilities." としても良いと思います。こちらの方が相手に対して丁寧で前向きな印象になります。

Thank you for your email.I have spoken with Hiro regarding the points raised in your email, and we fully agree that our communications should be as efficient and effective as possible for all parties involved.We also agree to hold online meetings whenever necessary. As for the technical issues, FEAI-JP should be point of communication not to cause unneccesary communication and confusion. I understand that a small group meeting has been scheduled for September 22 (U.S. time) to discuss NTT AT's inquiry. In the meatime, we feel it necessary to clarify the roles and responsibilities of the various team members. We will discuss when Dionis visits us in early October, as we are currently a little unclear about who is responsible for what.Best regards,

より自然で洗練されたビジネス英語にすると、以下のようになります。 > Thank you for your email. > > I have spoken with Hiro regarding the points raised in your email, and we fully agree that our communications should be as efficient and effective as possible for all parties involved. > > We also agree to hold online meetings whenever necessary. As for technical matters, we believe that FEAI-JP should serve as the primary point of contact in order to avoid unnecessary communication and confusion. I understand that a small group meeting has been scheduled for September 22 (U.S. time) to discuss NTT AT's inquiry. > > In the meantime, we feel it is important to clarify the roles and responsibilities of the various team members. We would like to discuss this further when Dionis visits us in early October, as we are currently not entirely clear on who is responsible for which areas. > > Best regards, > > Koji Kabumoto ### 修正ポイント - **should be point of communication** → **should serve as the primary point of contact** - 英語として自然でビジネス的な表現です。 - **not to cause unnecessary communication and confusion** → **in order to avoid unnecessary communication and confusion** - よりフォーマルです。 - **In the meatime** → **In the meantime** - スペル修正。 - **necessary to clarify** → **important to clarify** - やや柔らかく協調的な表現。 - **a little unclear about who is responsible for what** → **not entirely clear on who is responsible for which areas** - 「責任分担を整理したい」というニュアンスがより自然に伝わります。 特に相手との関係を損なわずに「役割分担が不明確」という懸念を伝える表現として、**"we are currently not entirely clear on who is responsible for which areas"** はかなり柔らかく上品な言い回しです。

Thank you for your email.I have spoken with Hiro regarding the points raised in your email, and we fully agree that our communications should be as efficient and effective as possible for all parties involved.We also agree to hold online meetings whenever necessary. As for technical matters, FEAI-JP should serve as the primary point of contact in order to avoid unnecessary communication and confusion. I understand that a small group (including Hiro san) meeting has been scheduled for September 22 (U.S. time) to discuss NTT AT's inquiry.In the meantime, we feel it is important to clarify the roles and responsibilities of the various team members. We would like to discuss this further when Dionis visits us in early October, as we are currently not entirely clear on who is responsible for which areas. We also would like to hear about the updates of products road map, data sheets, lead time for the products.

かなり良くなっています。最後の一文だけ少し自然な英語に整えると、よりプロフェッショナルな印象になります。 > Thank you for your email. > > I have spoken with Hiro regarding the points raised in your email, and we fully agree that our communications should be as efficient and effective as possible for all parties involved. > > We also agree to hold online meetings whenever necessary. As for technical matters, FEAI-JP should serve as the primary point of contact in order to avoid unnecessary communication and confusion. I understand that a small-group meeting, including Hiro, has been scheduled for September 22 (U.S. time) to discuss NTT AT's inquiry. > > In the meantime, we feel it is important to clarify the roles and responsibilities of the various team members. We would like to discuss this further when Dionis visits us in early October, as we are currently not entirely clear on who is responsible for which areas. > > We would also appreciate an update on the product roadmap, the latest data sheets, and the expected lead times for the products. > > Best regards, > > Koji Kabumoto ### 主な修正点 - **small group (including Hiro san) meeting** → **small-group meeting, including Hiro** - **updates of products road map** → **an update on the product roadmap** - **data sheets** → **the latest data sheets** - **lead time for the products** → **the expected lead times for the products** もし少し強めに「10月の訪問時にはぜひ議題にしたい」というニュアンスを出すなら、 > We would also like to discuss the product roadmap, the latest data sheets, and expected product lead times during Dionis's visit. としても自然です。こちらの方が「役割分担」と「製品アップデート」を同じ訪問時の議題として明確に伝えられます。