英文メールの添削依頼

添削してCK san, sorry to trouble again but I need your support. Please refer to your Sept. report as attached. This report was submitted to Ks Lab and they inquired about the follows 2 matters which were mentioned in your Sept. report:‌1) Vy2) GiftzoneAs you see in your report, there are limitted written and I do not want to make these matters more complicated. So would you please provide me a kind of very simple explanation what happens and what the current status.1) Vy: position (such as manager of customer service?), and current situation (has she decided to leave the company?)2) Giftzone: What they do (Giftzone services), the relationship with VGS, debt replayment status (I hope that you can say that Giftzone is paying on monthly basis).

自然で丁寧なビジネス英語にすると、以下のようになります。 > Dear CK-san, > > Sorry to trouble you again, but I need your support. > > Please refer to your September report attached. We submitted this report to Ks Lab, and they have raised questions regarding the following two matters mentioned in the report: > > 1. Vy > 2. Giftzone > > As you can see, the report contains only limited information on these matters, and I would prefer not to make the situation any more complicated than necessary. > > Therefore, could you please provide a brief and simple explanation of what happened and the current status of each matter? > > **1. Vy** > - What was her position (for example, Customer Service Manager)? > - What is the current situation? Has she decided to leave the company? > > **2. Giftzone** > - What services does Giftzone provide? > - What is the relationship between Giftzone and VGS? > - What is the current status of the debt repayment? Ideally, it would be helpful if we could state that Giftzone is making repayments on a monthly basis. > > Thank you for your assistance. > > Best regards, > Koji Kabumoto **主な修正点** - *Sept. report* → **September report**（より自然） - *they inquired about the follows 2 matters* → **they have raised questions regarding the following two matters** - *there are limitted written* → **the report contains only limited information** - *what happens and what the current status* → **what happened and the current status** - *debt replayment status* → **debt repayment status** - *I hope that you can say* → **it would be helpful if we could state**（監査対応としてより適切で柔らかい表現） 監査法人向けの説明依頼メールとして、かなり自然でプロフェッショナルなトーンになっています。